In James' View
by Shaye Rhymer
Summary: Lily and james. By James.This is how James thinks and feels about Lily and everything else. This is his story.chapter 5 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Lily and I, Well, Lily and I are, complicated. I love her but she will never notice. I have loved her since second year and crushed on her since first. I don't think anyone else can see that I REALLY love her. Moony thinks that I like her only because she turned me down. I mean I'm not _that _immature. Padfoot thinks she's really sexy and he would do her in a second, if of course I didn't like her.That one just made me hit him until he howled like the dog he is. Wormtail was just Wormtail and told me that Lily might not feel the same and that I should maybe date other people. Peter was probably the most hepfull out of the three because he actually gave me some advice. That was in third year. Two years ago. I took Pete's advice, and now I am supposedly a Player' according to Lily. But hey, now she is actually talking ,well, yelling at me.

Lily came walking into the Gryffindor Common Room followed by Rachel, her best friend. I stood and walked over to her. " Hey Lily."

She looked up at me. " What do you want Potter? I don't have time for you." She glared at me daring me to ask.

If she knew me she would know that I never turned down a dare. " Well Lily I swear it will be quicker if you agree." She snorted. In a yeah, right kind of way. " There's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. And I thought since you never say yes it was about time and you would come to help me pick out a birthday present."

" And who, Potter, is this present for may I ask?" Lily asked, jaw clenched.

" Oh, Evans. How naive can you be. You have forgotten your own birthday!" I laughed. It was my subtle way of telling her I paid attention and that I cared.

" Oh, Potter! I would love to go! I can't believe you remembered my birthday!" Lily smiled her rare smile and I grinned back.

" Really? " I asked just to make sure this wasn't a dream.

" NO! Potter, What makes you think that just because it's my birthday that I would say yes!?" Lily shouted. I really don't understand why she yells. I mean it's not that necessary. I'm not deaf. That's what I told her. " Because, Potter. I have been saying the same thing for three years and you never seem to get it! I don't want to go out with you and I never will! I want you to leave me alone and just go about your business. You are such a player! You ask me out everyday no matter if you have a girlfriend or not! You have no respect for anyone including the professors, let alone the girls you date! Why would you expect me to want to be one of them!?"

"I..I..I..." I broke off as she turned and fled to the girls' staircase. Was I really that bad? I looked to Remus for confirmation. He just shook his head. That was all I needed. I was that bad. I turned and left the common room. I hurried down the stairs and went into the secret room behind the statue of troll.

The guys knew about this room but none of them really cared about it. It was just a secret room to them, but to me it was different. I didn't want them to find me so I checked my pocket. The map was there. If they found me at all today it shouldn't be for a few hours. There were so many other rooms I would be likely to be in. I know the first room Sirius will check is the Kitchen. This room had a black stone floor, pure white walls with cream coloured cloud outlines on them and a high red ceiling. Basically it was a design crisis but I like it. It makes me feel kind of like there's more after death. Not just a cold coffin in the earth. Like Heaven and Earth are one and Hell is also on earth. Like the dead could be walking next to you but you just can't see them. I plopped down on the beanbag chair that I had placed there in second year.

I thought about Lily and what she had said. I never really thought about why she always says no I never actually thought she had a reason. I just thought she wanted to see how far I'd go. Maybe I am a little disrespectful of people. But I don't think I'm disrespectful to the girls I date. Am I? Why would be? It's not like I cheat on them... OH!

I ask HER out everyday no matter who date! Oh CRAP! That means I _am_ a PLAYER!

_A/N: So..? How did you like the first chapter? Please please please Review! I would really appreciate some constructive criticism._


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: here we are, the next chapter**_. _**Thanks for reviewing!**_

I sat there in my cozy beanbag trying to recall exactly what Lily had said the day before. Right after the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. it had something to do with the squid. After her rant about Snape, her stupid Slytherin friend, wanting us to leave him alone, _"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" _that's what she had said.The giant squid! Over me! Also that my head was too fat to go up on my broomstick, what have I ever done to her? I thought annoyed. _Maybe it's that you are mean to other people. _Said a voice in my head. _ You also seem quite full of yourself. _ I am NOT full of myself! I don't get this!

I stood up and started to pace the room. How can I get Lily to like me? I heard her voice just outside the room. She was talking to Rachel. " NO Rachel! I won't go out with that scum!"

" Come on Lily! He has wanted to go out with you forever! If Someone asked me out everyday I would say yes!" Rachel pleaded. I smiled at the thought of everyone pushing her to me. " He is crazy for you! If you go out with him maybe you can change him! So what if he is a bit conceded?"

"A bit! A bit?" Lily laughed. "Oh, please! He is the most conceded person I have ever met next to Sirius! Do you see the way he always messes with his hair? It makes me sick! He's always nicking that snitch! He should be kicked off the Quidditch team! Maybe then his head would shrink down!"

" Uh Lily?" Rachel sighed. " You don't expect him to kick himself off the team do you? He's the captain."

" Oh, Great. Give him a position of power. That's brilliant. Just so he can lord himself above everyone!" Lily Cried annoyed. Wow I never knew she felt this way about me. I thought maybe a bit, but not this strongly.

" Oh, Lily. You should keep it down. That mangy feline of the new caretaker's is coming." Rachel muttered to Lily. I jumped then remembered I wasn't doing anything wrong.

" Why do I care? I'm not doing anything wrong! And don't talk that way! She's just a cute little cat. Come here Mrs. Norris." I heard a mewling and then purring. I stuck me head out of he room and caught a glimpse of Lily stroking the mangy fur ball. I stepped out fully from behind the troll. Neither of the girls saw me so I moved away from the statue.

" Hello ladies. Lily, I never knew you felt so strongly about me. Though I can't say that the direction of these feelings is the one I wanted. I promise you my feelings for you are a lot less hostile. " I tried as hard as possible to keep my voice and face nonchalant. Lily turned around and straitened up.

" Oh please Potter. If you ever know how to feel something real then I _will _go out with you." Lily laughed and turned to leave. Rachel just gave me a look then followed.

" I'll hold you to that Evans. Trust me. Next year you will realize that I know how o feel!" I called to her disappearing back then glared accusingly at Mrs. Norris. " What are you looking at?"

I turned and headed back to Gryffindor tower. I didn't feel much like sitting alone anymore. Once I climbed through the Portrait hole I noticed that Peter, Sirius and Remus were still there. They hadn't gone to look for me. "Hey guys." I plopped down on the couch next to Sirius.

" Hey man. Moony wouldn't let us go look for you. He said that you wanted to be left alone and when Lily left he said that you would probably find her and come back. Did you find her?' Sirius asked eagerly.

" She found me. ' I stated simply.

" She looked for you?" He asked amazed.

" Well- No. But I heard her talking about me. Not happily mind. I got her to say she would go out with me on a condition." I smiled at the thought.

" You are going out with her? Way to Go—" I cut him off with a shake of my head.

" No but she said that She _would_ go out with me if I ever knew how to feel something real." I said smiling

" Uh, Prongs, no need to burst your quaffle but, how are you going to get her to realize you feel something real?" Padfoot asked me a little worried.

" I'll find a way." I told him. "I've felt something real for her since second year."

" Yeah man but, to her? Your just some annoying bloke." Sirius laughed. " I mean she doesn't have such a great judge of character does she? She's friends with _Snivellus_."

I laughed at that. It was true Lily and Snape _were_ friends. Though there friendship is probably over after yesterday when Snape called her a Mudblood. " He is such scum. I wish I could put a squeezing curse on him so all the grease would get squeezed out of his hair. I'm always afraid that he'll drip on me." Wormtail laughed along with me, Moony and Padfoot though he didn't seem to get it.

Remus clearly wanted a change of subject so he brought up his favourite discussion. " So are oyu both ready for your Transfiguration O.W.L.'s?"

" Moony? Are you there? Helo?" I knocked on his head. playfully."I always do well at Transfiguration and so should Padfoot. We are animaguses you know." Remus grimaced obviously annoyed that I had brought it up. He was afterall the reason Padfoot, Wormatail and I were Animaguses.

" I am aware but there are other aspects to Transfiguration than just Human transfiguration." Remus muttered aggravated.

" No problem fluffy! We'll study now. _Accio Transfiguration notes_." Sirius waved his wand and smiled as the stacks of paper zoomed out of the boys dormitory. But apparently his spell was too strong and they hit him right in the forehead, messing up his perfectly groomed, long black hair. I laughed uncontrollably as the papers continued to zoom around the room. Remus just waved his wand and the four stacks landed in our laps accordingly. Wormtails was the smallest, only about ten pages. Then Srius', which must have been twenty at least, then mine at twenty-six pages for a whole year. Remus' was largest by far at almost a hundred pages.

I looked at his stack warily. " Did Dumbledore cover all that? Or did you just copy down every word in the book?" I asked him confused. I had never seen a stack of notes that big. That is until Lily walked in. She must have three hundred pages there!

She walked right past me and stopped in front of Moony." Hey Remus, I see you got _them_ to study? Without your help maybe Potter will actually pass. What a shame. See you tonight." Lily turned and headed to the chair opposite her friend Katie. I looked at Remus incredulously.

" Where are you two going tonight?" I asked him accusingly. I felt about ready to explode! Lily and REMUS! No! How could that happen? Was he snaking out behind my back?

" Chill out Prongs. Prefect duty. We have to patrol the halls. You don't think I would do that to you do you?" He looked like he had been slapped.

" You are right. I wasn't thinking." My temper ebbed away slowly. He was right he wouldn't do that to me. " So, what should we do tomorrow to celebrate?"

" We should prank the Slytherin table! We could make them all stand and dance and sing!" Sirius' eyes were glazed over happily and he had a dopey smile on. " What should they sing?"

" Not anything to do with magic. A muggle song! They would hate that!" I smiled at the thought of Malfoys face when he realized he was singing a muggle song.

" Yeah! Awesome! Than we get pissed!" I smiled at Padfoot. He wanted to get drunk of course. Eating and drinking seemed to be Padfoots fabvourite pass times. He could drink butterbeer like water.

" You guys, is that smart? We could get caught! " Peter cut in. He always seemed afraid of the consequences. but only before and afterward, he never thought about them at the time.

I got started at writing the song, I knew bits and pieces of songs and nursery rhymes. I didn't need to study I knew it like the back of my hand. Wait, I looked at the back of my hand. Since when is there a vain there!?

A/N: Hey thanks to my reviewers, An-Jelly-Ca and Ron and Hermione Weasley !!! Thank you! Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey! Thanks for reviewing! And here is the next chapter! 

_My bonnie lies over the ocean! My bonnie lies over the sea! My bonnie caught a tiger by the toe then eenie meenie miney moed! I looked up and saw a twinkle twinkle little star I looked and saw how high you are! Up above the world so High, like a diamond in our sky! I wished upon that star that my, bonnie would come back to me! It came back to me! On my bonnie there was an itsy bitsy spider that wanted a waterspout, instead it got the rain that washed that spider out! My bonnie was clean and now I am no longer meean_! I smiled at Sirius who just looked amazed. " That's awesome man! You wrote that just now?"

" Yup! I thought of all the muggle songs I knew and this was them combined." I laughed at Peter who couldn't stop rolling on the floor and clutching his sides.

" Good job man. Now all we have to do is make a spell. Easy as pie." Sirius told me. " Okay Remus, what's the plan?" Moony rolled his eyes and sighed.

After we had figured out what we were going to do I headed for bed and Remus went to prefect duty. Needed all my strength for tomorrow. An exam, a prank (most likely followed by a duel), and a full moon.

I lurched awake at only 6:30. That gave me an hour and a half to get ready. I took a shower and pulled on my robes with an hour and 15 minutes left. I walked to the common room and found Lily on the couch, asleep.

I walked over and sat on the chair next to it. I watched her sleep and brushed back one of her beautiful red strands of hair from her face. I looked at her closed eyes. When she awakes I will see the gorgeous emerald green of her eyes. Her mouth was slightly open and I could hear her breathing deeply.

I watched her for another 15 minutes until she awoke. Her eyes flickered open and she looked into my eyes. A smile flitted across her face, which was quickly replaced with a frown. " Potter! What are you doing here?" She didn't exactly sound angry but she didn't sound happy.

" I could ask you the same Lilykins." I smiled at her and she scowled at me. " Why did you sleep on the couch?"

" Oh," She waved her hand dismissively. " Meygan was a bitch and kicked me out."

" Meygan Bones?" I asked her stunned. " She kicked you out? What did Katie and Rachel do?"

" Katie and Rachel? What could they do? You don't expect them to curse her do you? She had Jessica on her side too."

" Two against three. Well, Jessica does have that flare." I joked; Jessica had to be the meanest girl in Gryffindor.

" Yeah, and Meygan was all too happy to have her help. I swear Meygan was pissed." She laughed at the thought. " She could barely stand, she freaked when I told her to head for the hospital wing."

" Yup, that sounds like something Meygan would do, Drink 'til she's numb then bitch her head off. I know she did that when we were going out. Not to mention clingy." I told Lily, much to her disapproval. She didn't like it when I talked about the girls I had dated. It makes her angry, she says I'm disrespectful.

" Isn't she the one you dumped in the great hall? The one that started the food fight." Lily asked with a smirk on her face

" Oh, Yeah! That was so much fun. I couldn't remember why, thanks." I told her, laughing,

" No problem, I think that's the only girl that I was actually okay with you disrespecting. Man that was funny." Lily smiled at me. I was so happy that she had smiled at me. Lily, happy near ME!

" Listen, I'm sorry about Snape. I know you were friends." I told her. Snape had called her a Mud blood, which had broken their friendship.

Her smile broke; I had thought she would like me to be sorry, apparently not. " You should be. It was your fault! If you hadn't attacked him, I wouldn't have needed to come to his rescue, and he wouldn't have had to snap at me! It is your fault Potter!" Lily got up and stormed up the girls' stairs.

I sat there feeling like a failure. Was it really my fault Lily and Snape were no longer friends? Well, that's no problem for me. They had always seemed a little too close for me. I left the common room and headed back up the stairs. Talking to Lily had eaten up a lot of my time. I headed back into my dormitory and found Remus awake and moody.

" Hey Moony. Ready for tonight?" I asked him carefully. He hated it when we talked about his furry-little-problem.

Moony looked up and glared at me. " As ready as ever." He told me rather rudely.

" How about the O.W.L. we have today? You ready for that?" I asked faking excited ness.

" Of course. When have I not been ready?" Remus asked a little happier. " Padfoot is practically dead. Reckon we should wake him?" I looked at Sirius' bed. In it he was indeed deeply asleep. I looked at Moony.

" Can I have fun with this?" I asked him.

" Prongs, when don't you have fun waking Padfoot?" Remus laughed. It was true, every day Sirius slept in we thought of funny ways to wake him up. Yesterday we had gotten Katie to come up here and lie in the bed with him. She had whispered 'bacon' in his ear and stroked his thigh it was hilarious when he woke up. He screamed about being violated then started going out with her. At breakfast he had specifically asked for bacon.

I leaned over Sirius and did my best o mimic his mothers' cruel voice. " SIRIUS ORION BLACK! YOU SCUM! YOU BLOODTRAITOR! YOU DON'T DESERVE A BED UNDER THIS ROOF!" I screamed, this was probably the cruelest one I had played but hey, I had exciting news.

Padfoot jolted awake. He looked so stunned not to see his mother there he let out a sigh of relief. Then he realized what had happened. He stood up and looked at me with daggers in his eyes. He punched me so hard that I had pins and needles down my arm. " That wasn't funny Prongs!" He yelled at me. I knew it shouldn't have been but it was. Remus looked disapprovingly at me. " You know how I feel about that woman,"

" Of course I do Paddy. That's why I did it." I told him excitedly. " Guess who asked there parents something really important?" I asked him in a practically sing song voice.

" Oh, I don't know, maybe you." Sirius told me still rather annoyed.

" Of course it was I, Padfoot. I asked them if you could stay for the summer!" Sirius' face turned from anger to bliss.

" Really? You did?" Padfoot asked me almost bouncing up and down. " I don't have to go back there! "

" Really. You don't have to go back there. Ever." I told him a smile on my face. I was happy for Padfoot. He hated his parent's house more than anything.

I smiled and told them I'd meet them in the great hall, I grabbed my bag and left. I walked into the common room and found it empty. Though I heard yelling coming from the girls' dormitories. It sounded like Lily. I took another look around to make sure no one was there then I transformed into a stag.

I felt my body tense and my face elongate. It didn't hurt exactly it was more like it tingled. My arms and legs became the same length then I felt the white fur protrude from every pore. The top of my head had a quick sharp pain and I knew my antlers were slowly growing. Once the tingling stopped I trotted over to the dormitory door.

I used my antler to pry the door open then I trotted up the stairs. The yelling was coming from the second door I passed. I turned back from my stag form by thinking about my human one. Going back always felt wrong. I knew that my true form should have been stag but I always went back. It burned every pore when the fur went back and the top of my head could have been stabbed twice and I wouldn't know the difference. My face shrank and it felt like the bones broke everywhere. I waited two seconds for the pain to stop then I listened to what was being said.

" How dare you come back HERE? I told you that you weren't wanted here! You think just cause you have James Potter wrapped around your stupid finger you can do anything you want!" Meygan was screaming at Lily. I was taken aback. Lily had me wrapped around her finger? Please. She would give anything to make me leave her alone.

" Oh, Please! When you two were going out you acted like the queen of the world. Then he dumped you. You have the biggest tantrum I had ever seen! You are such a baby!" Lily screamed at her. " What on earth is wrong with you!"

" Nothing is wrong with her. But something with be wrong with you in a second!" I heard the voice of Jessica. I couldn't let anything happen to Lily. I opened the door.

They all gasped. " Hello. I was just coming over to ask one of you lucky ladies to go out with me. But, as I see you are preoccupied. I shall leave." I winked at Meygan for extra measure.

"Oh, no! We aren't" Meygan shrieked and pushed Lily Down, out of her way to me." So, James what did you want to ask?" She asked me with such fake perkiness I almost laughed. Almost.

" Oh, My lady Meygan. I am asking for your hand." She looked so shocked and happy all at once that I couldn't believe it. She placed her hand on my palm. " Will you, Meygan Bones, Go out with me?"

" Yes, Yes! Of course!" Meygan jumped up and sprang into my arms.

I took a wary look at Lily. Our eyes met and I winked. She rolled her eyes and stood up. " Hey, wait one second. How did you get up here?" Lily asked me very confused.

"I have my ways, Lilykins." I told her with a suggestive smile.

Katie seemed bored at James love life and wanted to know where Sirius is, " Half asleep, what do you think?" I asked her laughing.

I walked out of their room Meygan on my heels. When we got to the stairs they immediately turned into a slide. I slid down the slide with a smile on my face. I had saved Lily. And now I would make her laugh.

When Meygan And I got to the great hall it was almost full. I sat down next to Sirius. Meygan sat on my other side.

Meygan leaned in for a kiss. I pulled back. Sirius just watched and laughed. Meygan glared at him. " What's wrong Jay?" She asked me as though she was about to cry.

I waited a minute before speaking. I gnawed on a piece of toast, " Meygan. I'm eating." I picked up another piece of toast and waited for Lily to appear. Once she walked into the hall I turned to Meygan. She leaned down to kiss me and I let her. After about thirty seconds I broke away and jumped up.

" Jay! What's wrong? Are you okay?" Meygan asked me concerned. But I had a plan.

" I'm FINE! It's YOU who has the problem. How on earth did you learn to kiss?" I asked my voice pretty loud.

" Well, I don't know… WHY?" Meygan asked distressed.

" Because! It feels like you are trying to fill a bucket! It's so disgusting!" I told her my mouth turned down when all it wanted to do was be a smile.

" WHAT? NO IT DOESN'T!" Meygan shrieked at me. I was laughing inside.

" Oh, it does you are disgusting. WE. ARE.OVER!" I told her loudly. The great hall broke out in a bunch of laughter. I turned and walked away from Meygan.

I sat down beside Lily who smiled at me. " So, Lily. Do you want to go out with me?"

A/N: Did you like it? HUH? Did ya! It's not my favourite chapter so far but it will have to do. Tell me how you liked it! The prank will be in the next chapter! I promise! Thanks for reviewing An-Jelly-ca, BusStop412and RonandHermioneWeasley!


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay. The fourth chappie! Enjoy. P.s. why do you like it? Just tell me. I'm at a loss. Thanks to: BusStop412, Ron And Hermione Weasley,Sarena678 and Marietta Black FOR REVIEWING!!! )**_

" Potter. I just smiled. Don't make me yell." Lily rolled her eyes in amusement.

" Oh, Evans! I got rid of her for you! How could you possibly not want to go out with me now?" I asked half joking, half pleading.

"Potter, why? Why do you care? Why on earth do you always ask me out? Why do you try so hard?" Lily asked me in a perplexed voice. She was flabbergasted. I could tell. I know the answer. I love her. I would do anything for her. I just wish she knew that.

I opened my mouth to confess my love when the headmaster raised his hand. " Alright, breakfast is over! 5th years, be back here in 10 minutes for your transfiguration O.W.L."

" Bye James." Rachel told me and she grabbed Lily and jumped up. They raced out of the hall giggling. I swear, I will _never_ understand girls!

Katie stood and gave me a sympathetic look. Then she skipped over to Sirius. She kissed him on the cheek and he grabbed her and placed her on his lap. Then they kissed on the mouth, they started to make out ferociously. Dear god.

Remus caught my eye and we laughed. I strode over to him and threw my arm around his shoulders. " Let's go, Moony. Let Padfoot have his fun." I kept on laughing as we headed out of the great hall.

" How'd it go with Lily?" Remus asked me once we had sat down on the stairs in the Entrance hall to wait for our O.W.L.s to begin.

" How did it look like it went?" I asked him coldly. How could he not tell that Lily had said no? She had raced off with Rachel.

" Whatever Prongs. You should try to actually talk to her. It does work you know. She talks to me." Remus told me. I swear, if I even detect a smidgen of pride in his voice I will punch him

" Moony, I've tried." I cried exasperated. " You have no idea how may times I've tried to talk to her. Just this morning we were having a real conversation then she stormed off." I told him. I was annoyed. Every time I got close she would push me away.

" Has it ever occurred to you, James, that maybe the feelings Lily has for you scare her? So she pushes you away and denies them?" Moony asked me in a serious (no pun intended) voice.

Yes, it has occurred to me. It's the thought that keeps me going every time she turns me down. I just shrugged at him. He didn't need to know that.

" James, you need to be less self absorbed." My face went rigid. I am _not_ self-absorbed. " Not that you _are,_ it's just that you seem like it to her." Remus quickly amended. I smiled at him. I could tell he knew it was forced.

" Yeah, maybe." I told him with a grim look. " But how, in Merlin's beard, am I supposed to get her to notice anything?" I asked him anxiously.

"Well-" Remus was cut off by the sound of the Great Halls doors opening. It was time for the O.W.L. At least it was my favourite one. I had never been less than best in this class.

" We should go in." I told him and he nodded. We took our seats and waited.

Once the rest of the fifth years showed we were told to start. I looked at the first question. 'What is the definition of transfiguration?' That was easy. I scribbled the answer down quickly. I raced through the exam easily. My favourite question was the one on Animagus' I almost laughed aloud. I finished with a half hour left.

I looked around the hall. No one else seemed to be done. I watched he back of Lily's head as she wrote out her answers. Her head seemed to bob to a rhythm only she could hear. I smiled. I looked around a little more and noticed Snivellus was watching her too. I grimaced at his greasy head. I wish she hadn't met him and didn't want to stick up for that grease ball.

I turned away and decided to look out the window, anything was better than watching Snape drool.

Once we were all allowed to leave the hall I walked up to the common room. I sat on the couch next to Remus and Peter. Sirius collapsed next to me. " So who found question 73 easy?" Sirius asked us. We all laughed, Remus' a little forced. That was the Animagus question.

" Hey, are we going to do the prank at dinner or lunch?" I asked quickly, if we were doing it at lunch then we should be in the kitchens casting spells on the Slytherin drinks.

'Lunch. We should be down in the kitchens." Remus told us and we all agreed. We left the common room and I saw Lily on the courtyard, walking with Snape. I told the guys to go ahead. I raced down the stairs and into the courtyard. Lily was saying something. I wish I had my cloak. She turned away and I noticed tears in her eyes, she must be crying. I watched her head right for me unknowingly. " Lily!" I heard Snape call after her; she just shook her head and carried on. I stepped out from behind my bush. Lily took one look at me and burst into tears.

" Lily-" My voice broke. She looked about ready to fall over. I walked closer and held her in my arms. " It's gonna be okay." I told her. " I'm here. Always."

She just made a nodding movement and continued to cry. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rachel coming. I held Lily closer. Rachel still managed to spot us. She smirked then realized Lily was crying. She ran over. " What did you do?" She demanded me.

" Yeah, of course, 'cause if I had done something she would be crying on my shoulder." I snapped. " It was Snape. They got in a fight."

" You better go." Rachel told me easing Lily off me and onto her own shoulder. I hadn't noticed how right it felt until it felt wrong. I just nodded at her wordlessly. I turned and headed back inside. I ran full on down all the secret passages I knew on the way to the kitchen. Once I had tickled the pear and walked into the kitchens I noticed that they were just sitting there, waiting.

" We are already done." Remus told me, he wasn't being cruel or accusatory, he was just stating a fact.

" Oh." I said brilliantly.

" Where have you been Prongs?" Sirius asked me intrigued. " You never miss a chance to tamper with the Slytherins."

" Oh, nowhere." I told him. The thing with Lily was private.

"Whatever. We should get to lunch." Peter said excitedly. " I don't want to miss this." We all left the room and raced up a floor.

I sat at the Gryffindor table not actually expecting Lily to show. But she did. She sat at the other end of the table and didn't look at me. Rachel and Katie were at either side of her.

The Slytherins filed into the great hall and they sat down. Once the last one had taken a sip out of their goblet they all levitated onto the table. They all opened their mouths at the same time and started to sing " My bonnie lies over the ocean! My bonnie lies over the sea! My bonnie caught a tiger by the toe then eenie meenie miney moed! I looked up and saw a twinkle twinkle little star I looked and saw how high you are! Up above the world so High, like a diamond in our sky! I wished upon that star that my, bonnie would come back to me! It came back to me! On my bonnie there was an itsy bitsy spider that wanted a waterspout, instead it got the rain that washed that spider out! My bonnie was clean and now I am no longer meean!" It was hilarious. They did a jig with there legs and they pranced. I smiled at Sirius and he grinned. Even Professor Dumbledore was laughing.

The Slytherins were all looking extremely angry and embarrassed. Most of them were glaring at us. I grinned and looked at Lily. She wasn't looking at the Slytherins with a smile on her face like I expected, she was glaring right at me. When she caught my gaze she shook her head. I felt her gaze bore into my soul. She was so mad. My grin faded into a grimace. I didn't feel hungry anymore. I stood up and walked out of the great hall without answering Sirius when he asked me where I was going. I didn't look at Lily as I passed her but I could feel her gaze on my back.

My eyes were filling up with tears as I raced up the stairs." James!" I heard Lily call from bellow. "James! James come here!" I ignored her and flew up the stairs. I heard her following me. I got to the Statue of the troll and disappeared behind it. " James. Where are you! James!" Lily was outside I listened to her call for me. " Fine! Be IMMATURE! JUST HIDE!"

I watched her storm away. She was mad at me for ignoring her. Jeez. That's Ironic.

I sat in my beanbag chair and let the tears come. Why does Lily do that?

I left my sanctuary, just before dinner. I had no intention of going, but I figured everyone else would be there soon, so I could go to my room without anyone noticing. I headed for Gryffindor tower and I found myself infront of the fat lady. I told her the password before she asked and stumbled into the common room. I had been wrong. One person hadn't gone to dinner, Lily. I wish I had my invisibility cloak right about now.

" Potter. There you are!" She said crossly. I ignored her and headed for the boys' dormitory. " Potter!" She called at my back.

" What?!" I cried, turning to face her. I was about to say something when Sirius hopped down the stairs behind me.

" Haven't you done enough Evans?" Sirius asked her in an annoyed voice. " You can't keep stringing him along like a puppet. Come on man." Sirius put his arm around my shoulder and hurried me up the stairs.

" UGH!" She cried from downstairs. I heard the portrait swing open then close. Then, silence.

" Hey, man. You gonna come down for dinner?" Padfoot asked me. I just shook my head at him. I was so not in the mood. " Right." And he left. I lie facedown on my bed and fell asleep.

I was shaken awake by Moony who looked extremely uncomfortable. " Come on. We have to go." Suddenly, I remembered, it was full moon.

Sirius and Peter were already by the door. I grabbed my cloak and we all disappeared beneath it. We snuck down the stairs and hurried through the common room. We waited until someone came in and we hurried past them. We snuck through all our secret passageways and wound our way into the Entrance Hall. Once there we scurried out the door and down to the Whomping willow. Peters face became more triangular and fur sprouted all over his body he then scurried under the branches and slammed his nose into the knot at the bottom of the tree.

Remus followed him under the tree while I packed up the cloak. Sirius morphed into his dog form and I watched him bound after them. I took a deep breath and concentrated on a part of myself that couldn't be expressed in simple words.I felt my body tense and my face elongate.. My arms and legs became the same length then I felt the white fur protrude from every pore. The top of my head had a quick sharp pain and I knew my antlers were slowly growing. Once the tingling stopped I trotted over hole under the tree and followed my friends. I loved being a stag. I felt so free.

I followed them down the tube and into the creaky house. Remus screamed in pain and I knew we had just made it. Remus rushed up the stair and into a bedroom. He couldn't bear to transform in front of us. When the screams of pain turned into howls of anger I knew it as the marauders time to shine. This was when we were strongest. When we had the most communication. Nothing was hidden from each other in this form. We were one unit. We were strong. I trotted up the stairs and opened the door with my antler. Mooney growled at us. He was never in a good mood in the beginning. I pranced around the room giving him a wide berth. Padfoot bowled in full force and slammed into Mooney. Mooney fell onto four paws and swatted at Padfoot. He missed.

Wormtail scampered around in circles at Mooney's feet, they liked to play before he was ready.

Pranced out of the room to open the front door now that Mooney was playing. I was the only one who could manage a door. I heard Wormtail following me with my over sensitive ears. Once I had opened the door Padfoot and Mooney came down the stairs. I looked at Mooney and he looked back with his golden eyes. Sometimes, I think that he only has humanity when he's with us. We all raced out into the humid June air and started to play.

We prowled the dark streets of Hogsmeade and chased each other around the lake. Once I noticed the glint of the sun we headed back.

Mooney changed back into Remus and fell onto the floor from exhaustion. These nights took to much from him. It merely made me, Sirius and Peter a little crankier than normal. I always wonder what it must feel like to be him…

A/N: Well, I think I'll leave it at that… I mean, How much more does this chapter need? I have it all crammed in there. I admit, its not the best written, but I think it's one of the more exciting ones…


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/n: YAY!!! Fifth chapter!!! Finally:) **_

" James!" Lily cried as I walked into the common room that morning. " James, Where have you been?" She was sitting on the couch reading _Pride and Prejudice_. I closed the portrait hole in the others faces so that she wouldn't know they were there too.

" Well, I went to breakfast early Lilykins. I'm sure you could join me tomorrow." I told her smugly. I knew I shouldn't be saying this stuff, it's why she thinks I'm arrogant, but I mean, come on! How do I resist?

" Mmm Hmm. That's why you are in yesterdays clothes and smell of sweat. James Potter, you tell me where you were all night this instance! I'm a prefect! And if Remus was a good one he would say the same!" She accused. I smiled at her mischievously; I could take this one so far.

" Well, Lils Are you sure you want to know where I was, what I was DOing?" I asked her with emphasis. She made a disgusted face after a split second of thinking. " Ew! Potter! Never AGAIN! Horrible images!" I smiled at her face and ran up the stairs to change. The guys would have come up already while I was distracting her. They had my cloak.

" See James," Remus said as I opened the door, "See, what I mean? She doesn't want you to say stuff like that! That's precisely why she hates you!"

" Oh please Moony! He was brilliant! I say, you must have learned from one Brilliant bloke eh?" Sirius swooned getting a laugh from us all. I couldn't help but smile as I changed. Lily had really wanted to know where I had been. And I caught that strange look on her face when I had told her. It was jealousy, I'm sure of it.

I grinned at nothing the whole day. We were finished with exams so we just hung around fort he day. I passed Lily by the lake a few times. She made a point of ignoring me. I made a point of talking to her. I was standing at the edge of the lake around 4:00 when Sirius dared me to jump in. I glared at him. " Come on man! It's awesome! Jump in!" He told me. I glared some more.

I looked at Lily. She was sitting at a tree with Katie and Rachel. She was looking at me. When She saw me look at her she looked down, but I sensed her eyes were still watching. I gave an over exaggerated annoyed look at Sirius and ripped off my shirt. I peeled off all the layers of clothing until I was bare-chested. I snuck another look at Lily. She was watching for sure now, mouth open. I lifted my foot; our eyes locked and took off my shoe and sock. I did this again on my other foot and kept up the staring contest. When I reached for my pants button Lily blushed a deep crimson and looked away. I smirked and pulled my pants off. I was standing there, half naked when Professor McGonagall was spotted running down the hill.

I stepped away from the lake then did a running jump. I dived head first into the cool water and dived under. I opened my eyes and ignored the sting. I saw a Grindylow glance at me and swim away.

I came up for air to a brilliant sight. Lily's two friends were stripping down to their underwear. Lily was looking at them very reluctantly. Katie grabbed Lily and hoisted her up from the ground. Sirius was already in just his boxers and he jumped in, closely followed by Rachel and Peter. Lily was in the process of being stripped by Katie. When professor McGonagall got to them it was already too late. Lily had been thrown in already and was spluttering right beside me. She was thrashing and gulping in a lungful of water. I didn't have time to think, I wrapped my arm around her to keep her still and above water. " Thanks. James." She breathed heavily. " I can't swim." She told me in a scared to death voice. I can't believe it, I thought, I just saved Lily Evans Life!

" Someone should teach you." I told her. My voice coming in a croak, I had been so scared for a second. Katie looked horrible. She was so upset.

" Lily! Are you ok? I'm so sorry! I thought you just didn't want to swim with Potter! Oh, My GOD! I didn't know!

" I'm fine. Now." Lily told her calmly. I kept treading water holding her for a few more minutes before we were made to get out. Professor McGonagall was not happy at all. We were in the headmaster's office all wrapped in towels. We weren't allowed to magic ourselves dry. Sirius had and McGonagall had put a wet spell on him.

Dumbledore walked in and chuckled at us. I glared at him. He wasn't being very helpful.

" Well, I wondered when I would see such a sight." I glared some more. " Such joy is about your face Mr. Potter, I must inquire the reasoning to that brilliant smile." He said in a humorous tone.

Lily glanced at me with a giggle " What Ms. Evans is the hilarity in this situation? You almost died." Professor McGonagall snapped at Lily. I felt a pang of guilt strike me.

" There is none Professor." She said meekly, Lily was obviously not one used to getting in trouble.

" You're right miss Evans, no hilarity at all and I am very disappointed in you. All of you." Professor McGonagall Gave us all a piercing glare. " To think, My own house was up to such foolishness, Fifth years at that! Why, I should take 20 points each!"

"Ah, Minerva, what harm can a refreshing dip in the lake do?" Dumbledore asked lightly.

" Miss Evans was nearly killed, Albus! Surely, you don't expect me to just let that go? "

" Now, no need to overreact, Miss Evans is fine thanks to Mr. Potter. I think twenty points in all and a detention each should suffice for this particular offense." Dumbledore chuckled again and winked at me.

I looked to Sirius who was grinning like he never had to see his family again. " Very well, tonight at 8 o'clock sharp in my office. I will set you your duties."

We all trudged out of the headmaster's office soaking wet and giddy as pixies. Katie and Rachel grabbed Lily and rushed her up to the common room. Sirius, Peter and I found Remus reading in the Library and headed up to the seventh floor.

We walked past that spot of wall three times, thinking of our favourite place. The door appeared and we were looking into the coolest clubhouse anyone had ever seen. This room was our secret place where we could be anyone we wanted, and more often than not, we were ten years old again. It was our bittersweet dream, to be in the mind of a child again, when no one could tell you what you believe and we knew nothing of the horrors of the world. For Sirius, it was as though he was my brother and never had the childhood he had.

In this Room of Requirement, as we called it, we bore our souls to each other as children do when they are young and foolish. This was our realm of possibilities, we needn't be us, but we chose to be. It was their favourite room, but, for some reason mine was still the one behind the troll, where I was free to be myself and not be judged, that's how they feel here.

After a few minutes the conversation turned to Lily, as it always does. " So, Prongs, how'd it feel to touch Lily?" Padfoot asked, suggestive as always.

" Not like that. It wasn't perverted or anything. It was…" I trailed off not knowing what to say to them.

" Yes, we know, it was all love and no bone. Blah blah blah." Sirius said with annoyance, "Dude, she digs you. Either screw her or pass her on."

" Woah! Sirius! That's a horrid thing to say! Lily is my friend and I don't think she'd appreciate you saying something like that." Moony cried annoyed. To be honest, I was disgusted too. I didn't _just_ want to sleep with Lily, I wanted to be with her, forever.

"I have to go. I need to do some practicing before dinner." I stood quickly and left the room before they could ask what kind of practicing. I needed to be alone; I walked the familiar path to my room and plopped onto a beanbag. Only, there wasn't just one beanbag, there was two. And one of them was not mine! Someone else was using this room! I wanted to tell the guys about it but something told me to leave it. I'll find out eventually… We go home tomorrow anyway.

At dinner I sat beside Sirius and Remus as we heard the goodbye speech and watched the seventh years be paraded about. Lucius Malfoy walked around with a smug look on his face and when he saw me watching him he snarled at me. He walked right by me and dropped something on my lap. I opened the folded piece of parchment and saw a note hastily scrawled but that made it no les menacing. _ The Dark lord comes for you and your pretty doll... I look forward to the day he finds you._ This was so not good.

I looked at Lily she watched the seventh years with a smile on her face, no doubt thinking of being head girl. And all I could see was dead eyes and hollow cheeks. What will happen to us?

Once dinner was served I stood and walked towards Lily. " Lily, I have to talk to you."

She looked me over. " What for Potter?" The kindness I had seen in her earlier gone, replaced with the hostility I've known for so long.

" To show you something." I told her in a whisper that made my voice sound frightened.

" Ew, Potter that's nasty!" She glared at me. I was forced to walk away with my shame, Lily wouldn't believe me anyway, I'll just have to keep her safe without her knowing.

_**A/n: well, what do you think.. I think it's a tad short and a little random… It's taken so long to write, MY GOD!! Please please please review! I don't care if I sound desperate! I am desperate since a little person I know either lied to me or really doesn't like me anymore: (… I need someone to review!!PLZ!!**_


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